We humans are so very unhappy. Regardless of the stage we may be in life, we always have something to complain about that keeps us from truly enjoying the stage of being that we’re currently in. In one sense, I guess that keeps us always moving forward, motivated to go to the next level. But on the other hand, it also keeps us from ever fucking enjoying anything.
I have a hell of a list of grievances. I’m not where I want to be career-wise, not sure I am living in the right place, approaching 30 and no stable relationship to speak of for the past several years, not making nearly enough money, blah blah ad nauseum. So I usually look at people who possess one or more of these things and think, “they must be more satisfied than I am.” It’s dismaying how often this seems to be exactly the opposite of the truth.
An engaged girlfriend of mine is unhappy with her job, and when I say, “yeah, but… hey, at least you’re on the right track in your relationship, right?”, she’ll heave a sigh and say “sure but I hate my job so much!!” Another friend who recently got a better job and a raise isn’t doing so well in her love life, and I’ll be like “true, but you’re movin on up! When you focus on that, it doesn’t seem so bad….right?” And she’ll heave a sigh and be like “sure but God I’m not getting any younger and I’m so tired of these meaningless dates.” You’re not making me feel any better, ladies. Do we ever allow ourselves to feel happy about anything? I used to think I had some kind of problem, listening to people point out all the good in my life and telling me to quit bellyaching about not achieving this goal or that goal according to this timeline I had set up in my head. I thought it was my own personal flaw, and that everyone was happy but me. The more I stop and take a look around, I realize this is a shared problem.
I mean I get it. We all have this concept of happiness that usually equates with everything needing to be just so – this idealized version of how our lives should be. And we feel like we’re not going to be truly happy until we get there. We can overlook all the great shit we have going for ourselves and be heaving that sigh and going , “yeah, but…”
Do we ever stop and take the time to enjoy, be happy about…anything?
Will this help?