Funny things for that ass

Inspired by my own damn self and my article over at Made Woman Magazine about comedians, I decided to sit here and find YouTube videos of some of my favorite comedians saying funny things.

Because they’re funny.

Do you hate Dane Cook? Get right out of town. I’m so tired of people shitting on Dane. Yes, okay, he can be overzealous and seems like he’d be the type of guy to eat his own ass if he could, but so what?

In this clip, he’s talking about hooking up with someone for the first time and how a guy will try his damndest to slip in unnoticed without a damn condom. It’s the truest thing ever, you men all do everything he describes in this, and that’s why you have herpes.

“Feels like I hate you.”

I’m really late on the Louis CK train but I’m glad I hopped on. Like what I did there? In this one he’s talking about how we’re all useless ungrateful spoiled pieces of shit in this world. Basically.

“Give it a second! It’s going to space!”

Daniel Tosh is a god amongst men. A mean, blunt god. In this one he’s talking about how empty and souless women with plastic surgery are.

“You got big titties top shelf, small titties? in a can.” Fuck you, Daniel. Fuck you and your beer.

And George Carlin making a complete mockery out of religion. When you look at it this way…… yeah, it all sounds pretty fucking stupid. Seriously, regardless of your thoughts on religion, this is some intelligent, hilarious stuff.

“You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci.” RIP George. You were a freakin genius.

If you haven’t seen this entire Chris Rock special, watch it immediately. It will change your life. For like an hour.

OK, bye.



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