It happened.

He’s sucked me in. I’ve been trying to resist since the moment I saw him, but he’s a little too slick for his own good.

Goddammit Bieber.

You rap now? Ugh, well, I guess you’ve been rapping for awhile but it’s not like I’ve been paying attention to you. You’re a child! I don’t listen to songs where a 10 year old (you’re still 10, right? yes, pretty sure that’s right.) makes false promises of making me less lonely or whines about having his heart broken. You’re fucking 10, get used to it. You’ve got a lot more coming, kid. Selena Gomez is going to eat your face one day. Mark my words.

Anyways. So yeah, you’re rapping. You’re a white 10 year old boy who JUST graduated from a long run with an angry lesbian haircut and you’re outrapping Chris Brown right now. Really? You better watch out, you wouldn’t like Chris Brown when he’s angry.

Sigh. Fuck it. You win, Bieber. Call me when you’re 18. If I’m calculating correctly I’ll be around 55 at the time, but we’ll make it work.



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