And now for Part 2 of Celebrity Twitter Escapades!
All the tweets I list here are copied and pasted directly from the celeb’s Twitter itself. Not one word has been changed.
Example Three: Tyrese
Who knew that the guy best known for the hit song “Sweet Lady” and starring in the Fast and the Furious movies was so damn preachy? Tyrese LOVES to EMPHASIZE certain WORDS for EFFECT and to tell us ALL what we’re doing WRONG in our LIVES and how to FIX IT. Don’t get me wrong, the man does actually drop some good advice, but Jesus Christo. He sounds like he’s trying to make a career switch to a motivational speaker.
@Tyrese: This next quote can REALLY change your LIFE if you shut your face and LISTEN and pay ATTENTION… You hear me????
@Tyrese: “When people show you who they REALLY ARE .. Believe it… Don’t let ur emotions chime in.. Open ur EYES! Pay attention.. Then RUN!!!
@Tyrese: EVeryone seems to be trying to BREAK FREE of someone.. But most need to break free of their OWN bad taste in PEOPLE..
@Tyrese: Just confess.. You have HORRIBLE taste in picking boyfriends, girlfriends, AND friends. Just HORRIBLE.. A confession will be the NEW start
@Tyrese: Can you REALLY expect the OUTCOME of ur relationship to be any different when ur dating the SAME TYPE OF PEOPLE ..??
@Tyrese: I believe in tough love… The shit you’ve been doing at this point is just STUPID and damn near suicidal.. BREAK THE CYCLE.. uCHANGEu
@Tyrese: I’m done with this… If you stay in it.. That’s on you.. I wake up and enjoy my life EVERY DAY.. Cause I DECIDED I wanted this..
@Tyrese: If you stay in that hole.. That NO ONE WANTS you to be in.. That’s on YOU.. No one feels sorry for you.. Good luck #ToughLove
Damn, Tyrese is MAD AT US. Did you see that? He wants us to shut our face! Why is he making me look at myself? Stop! It hurts, it hurts! Listen, I don’t know about you, but there are a whole slew of people in the real world who can tell me how much I suck at life. I sure don’t need an R&B singer with an attitude chiming in. In reality, as it turns out, Tyrese is actually releasing a book full of sentiments like this, so if you like this kind of thing… be on the lookout at your local bookstore.
Example Four: Kanye West
You knew this was coming. You don’t even need to have a Twitter account to know that Kanye occasionally goes off completely unfiltered. When he first joined Twitter, there was buzz about it all over the internet. He’s actually the reason why I even signed up for Twitter to begin with… because he started addressing his situation with Taylor Swift and seemed to be doing some sort of introspection completely in public. Once all that died down, the real fun began. Those of you who used to read his blog know that sometimes he gets excited and draaaaaaaags his wooooooords ooooouuuuuuuuuuuuut and uses excessive exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LUCKILY HE MOSTLY HAS DROPPED HIS AGGRESSIVE USE OF CAPS LOCK.
@kanyewest: Sometimes when I stunt because I’m so excited!!!!!!! This is crazy man!!! Life is soooo awesome!!!! After last year to be here about to..
@kanyewest: have my film air in less that 4 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m excited about the album and the film and I crazy new performance ideas!!!!
@kanyewest: I love commercial art!!! I know that sounds like an oxy moron and if I spelled that wrong I just sound like a moron lol!!!
@kanyewest: MONSTER… can we just talk about Nicki’s verse???????!!!!!!!!! I toooooooooooooooold yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallll!!!!!!!!!!!!
He’s singlehandedly given me a complex that I can’t truly convey my excitement to someone through techonological means without exclaiming the crap out of my sentences.
Kanye wouldn’t be Kanye if he didn’t occasionally show us that his ridiculous ego is still alive and well.
@kanyewest: I have decided to become the best rapper of all time! I put it on my things to do in this lifetime list!
So it is written, so it shall be done. This declaration of his makes this tweet, which he sent out prior to the one just mentioned, even more hilarious:
@kanyewest: No more ego… all positive energy… new emotion… new visuals… new music…
No more ego? Right. Next you’re going to tell me that Britney Spears quit Starbucks and Cheetos. GTFO.
Sometimes he shares his deep, philosophical thoughts with us, such as:
@kanyewest: My favorite unit of measurement is ‘a shit load’
@kanyewest: Like when people ask how many shoes I got, I tell em I got ‘a shit load’ of shoes
@kanyewest: How much is a shit load exactly? I’m assuming it’s more than a piss load.
And, one of my favorites:
@kanyewest: Sometimes I get emotional over fonts
Kanye and I have that in common. I see a sweet scripted font with just the right amount of curve to it and it brings a tear to my eye. You wouldn’t understand.
Occasionally another celeb will be inspired to respond to Kanye and it makes for the LOLs:
@kanyewest: I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next to me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle
Shortly after that, Dane Cook tweeted:
@danecook: My water bottles next to a sleeping @kanyewest . I hope he doesn’t feel responsible for it if he wakes up. Ok back to zzz.
And I’ll conclude the Kanye segment with this little monologue he posted.
@kanyewest: Please don’t let girls start wearing dark lipstick again. I just think girls need to know that guys don’t really like black lipstick
@kanyewest: I think classic red is the sexiest or no make up at all … nothing too experimental
@kanyewest: Keep the crazy colors on the toes
@kanyewest: Do girls even base any of they lip choices on what we like?
@kanyewest: She say… well my hairdresser like it… well tell me what your lipdresser says
@kanyewest: I looked at the time and just thought … oh shit… it’s girls at the club right now with dark lipstick reading this…. uuuuuuuuh my bad
@kanyewest: I think girls be trying to impress other girls with all them weird ass lip colors lol
@kanyewest: In the studio with Jay and B. Beyonce just explained to me that lip dressers are better known as make up artist lol
Cuz it’s like my mom always said: if anyone knows about ladies and their lipstick, it’s Kanye West.
Example Five: Bow Wow
Twitter isn’t all fun and games and instructions on how to better your life according to Tyrese. Sometimes you’ll see what looks like a celeb crying out for help. Bow Wow posted this just Saturday afternoon:
@BowWow: I swear i be wishing i was dead sometimes. Because i feel like that’s the only way ill get peace.
@BowWow: People don’t know me man. Yall don’t … start looking at Shad. Not Bow wow. Fuck Bow. I go through shit daily. I’m Just like yall
@BowWow: I sacrificed my life for this Hip Hop shit. I put my “REAL” life on hold. If i could do it over…. I wudda went to school. Got me a reg job
That’s intense. Bow Wow hasn’t tweeted anything since, but someone needs to call him and make sure he’s okay…. But I’m voting against Soulja Boy being the one to do it. He tweeted this shortly afterwards:
@Souljaboy: are you ok dude @bowwow or you trying to reach a million followers?
Jeez. Remind me not to call him when I’m depressed.
Chris Brown, who knows just a little about having a hard time (ahem), had this to offer:
@chrisbrown: @bowwow nigga shut up! Stop talking like that!
@chrisbrown: @bowwow don’t let nobody steal your joy! Whoop
Chris has since deleted his helpful tweets. Wonder why. But really though, somebody give Bow Wow a call.
And there you have it! If you catch any entertaining celeb tweets that you think I should include in the future, drop me an email! Also… follow my dumbass thoughts on Twitter @ItsBeedajuice. K bye!